In April, 2012, about 2 1/2 years after my escape from over a quarter-century of domestic abuse, it occurred to me that maybe there were some others out there who might benefit from hearing about my path to healing. I thought that maybe a couple of people might read it and get something out of it if I started writing a blog with insights and raw honesty about what it's like to recover from a long-term abusive relationship.
So, on April 26, 2012, the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network project was born. It was the first time I had talked openly about what I had experienced from 1981-2009 at the mercy of a highly disorder person. I was still the target of abuse, although it was from a distance and manifested as stalking, threats, harassment and proxy abuse by court. I wrote under a pseudonym and did not identify the other party. Two days later, I added a Facebook page for open discussion about my writings.
From shortly thereafter, when this person discovered I was writing this blog, he began trying to have it shut down, in addition to contacting friends of mine and having a proxy abuser attack me openly as well as covertly. After a second court action, a lawsuit for defamation (which, by the way, met none of the burden for proving defamation), dragged on for over a year, I chose to go to mediation to settle it. Mind you, this was after losing my daughter's entire college fund of $30,000 and going into debt another $30,000 all for legal fees and expenses. I also had to leave a high-paying job due to severe PTSD brought on by being hunted down by a PI (Lord, you should the see PI's notes we obtained in discovery!) and the relentless falsehoods of the suit. As part of the mediation, I agreed to shut down the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network project and live within certain "rules". I did not, however, agree to stop my crusade to call out emotional abuse, its effects, or the vicious individuals who perpetrate such abuses.
At the time I "retired" the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network, I had an average of 6,000 readers a week between the Facebook page and main blog feed. There were hits in more than 40 countries and over 4,400 "likes" on the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network Facebook page. That didn't even account for all those who couldn't participate openly for safety reasons. EASN did far more than I expected. It touched lives, it freed people, it created friendships. Moreover, a number of friends came forward to me about their own abuse experiences and I helped a number of them move through the process of escape and disengagement.
Aubrey Cole is the Nom de Plume I chose with the help of a dear, longtime friend. Aubrey comes from a song by the band Bread and was the name I wanted to give my younger daughter. I saved the entire 2 years of my writing and am editing it to publish as a book for survivors of "no scar" abuse. I have also completed about 1/3 of a book I'm calling Define Winning, about how to assess opportunity cost and your real end game when trying to escape the continued abuses by a sociopathic/narcissistic ex-partner.
The Emotional Abuse Survivors Network was a major force for good, when all I expected was to tell my story and maybe a few people would find it helpful. Now, Aubrey Cole aims to be a force for change. One voice really can change the world...even if it's the world of only a few people. But, this is me...and I will be relentless in my pursuit of helping others and changing minds.
"And Aubrey was her name...a not so very ordinary girl or name..."
Stay tuned,
AC
So, on April 26, 2012, the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network project was born. It was the first time I had talked openly about what I had experienced from 1981-2009 at the mercy of a highly disorder person. I was still the target of abuse, although it was from a distance and manifested as stalking, threats, harassment and proxy abuse by court. I wrote under a pseudonym and did not identify the other party. Two days later, I added a Facebook page for open discussion about my writings.
From shortly thereafter, when this person discovered I was writing this blog, he began trying to have it shut down, in addition to contacting friends of mine and having a proxy abuser attack me openly as well as covertly. After a second court action, a lawsuit for defamation (which, by the way, met none of the burden for proving defamation), dragged on for over a year, I chose to go to mediation to settle it. Mind you, this was after losing my daughter's entire college fund of $30,000 and going into debt another $30,000 all for legal fees and expenses. I also had to leave a high-paying job due to severe PTSD brought on by being hunted down by a PI (Lord, you should the see PI's notes we obtained in discovery!) and the relentless falsehoods of the suit. As part of the mediation, I agreed to shut down the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network project and live within certain "rules". I did not, however, agree to stop my crusade to call out emotional abuse, its effects, or the vicious individuals who perpetrate such abuses.
At the time I "retired" the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network, I had an average of 6,000 readers a week between the Facebook page and main blog feed. There were hits in more than 40 countries and over 4,400 "likes" on the Emotional Abuse Survivors Network Facebook page. That didn't even account for all those who couldn't participate openly for safety reasons. EASN did far more than I expected. It touched lives, it freed people, it created friendships. Moreover, a number of friends came forward to me about their own abuse experiences and I helped a number of them move through the process of escape and disengagement.
Aubrey Cole is the Nom de Plume I chose with the help of a dear, longtime friend. Aubrey comes from a song by the band Bread and was the name I wanted to give my younger daughter. I saved the entire 2 years of my writing and am editing it to publish as a book for survivors of "no scar" abuse. I have also completed about 1/3 of a book I'm calling Define Winning, about how to assess opportunity cost and your real end game when trying to escape the continued abuses by a sociopathic/narcissistic ex-partner.
The Emotional Abuse Survivors Network was a major force for good, when all I expected was to tell my story and maybe a few people would find it helpful. Now, Aubrey Cole aims to be a force for change. One voice really can change the world...even if it's the world of only a few people. But, this is me...and I will be relentless in my pursuit of helping others and changing minds.
"And Aubrey was her name...a not so very ordinary girl or name..."
Stay tuned,
AC
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