(Or, the letter I know all of you
wish you could write)
Today is my 3 year anniversary of
going No Contact (NC) with Captain Crazy of the S. S. Melodrama. Really.
3 years of no phone, no text, no email, no direct contact of any kind,
and pure bliss over it. The first two
years were at my flat refusal and most of the third year…and for the rest of my
life…is the result of a legal document.
There is a postal mail address he is required to use for all correspondence
and I don’t even read it, someone else does and lets me know the bottom line. But of course, there were the tens of
thousands of dollars spent on attorney fees because of his obsession with
destroying me, launched when? Right
after I went No Contact! We’re not even
going to talk about that, except to say that if anyone knew my real name and
searched on Gwinnett County Georgia and Montgomery County Maryland Court
websites, they would see precisely who the aggressor is and has always been. The funniest part is that I have all of his
phone numbers (cell, home, work) and email addresses (even the ones he doesn’t
think I have). Were I the person he
portrays me to be…the crazy bitch who won’t leave him alone and move on, the
one who is so consumed with bitterness and rage over the divorce I myself
initiated that I can’t let go…don’t you think I would have availed myself of
those communication methods many, many times?
Not once. Not.Once.
All I wanted was OUT. I mean out, gone, faint memory. I was so glad when he moved away, even though
it was his attempt to relocate and isolate me again, I literally danced around
my house the entire day after he left. I
knew I had a lot of strategizing and careful planning to do, but I suddenly had
a real future and so did my kids. He
still thought I was going to cave, as I had 3 times before. But now, life held potential instead of
imprisonment, possibility instead of entrapment.
So on this occasion of my third
No Contact anniversary, I have made a list of things for which I would like to
THANK Captain Crazy. Seriously. There are so many things to be grateful for
in this godforsaken nightmare that I decided it was high time to give him at
least a partial acknowledgement of all the things he has done for me and my
girls. Yeah, it’s long. Yeah, it’s bitchy. And, yeah, there’s some swearing just because
it’s sometimes therapeutic. But I tell
you what, this is some steam I am ready to let off. He will use it to say I’m crazy and bitter
and blah, blah, blah. I no longer give a
damn. I wrote this for me and for anyone
who wants to read it. Here goes…
Dear C.C. (M.P.P.),
Thank you for your crazy,
screaming outburst at our children in the train station on May 31, 2009. It was the wake-up call I needed to finally
see that I had to get us away from you, no matter what it took.
Thank you for doing really stupid
stuff that made it even more obvious that you were trying to “snow” me, like
renting an apartment that didn’t take pets when we had two dogs. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are we?
Thank you for making the first
words out of your mouth when I told you I was filing for divorce, “I hope you
know I’m going to have a hard time with it when you start dating.” The fact that you said that in front of my therapist
gave him all the info he needed to properly coach me through the next couple of
years of your crazy. His favorite line
to me every week after that was, “Stop trying to make sense of crazy.”
Thank you for threatening our
daughter with taking her to court when she asked if she could go on a trip with
a friend instead of coming to spring break visitation. Because you needed her to make yourself look
good to the newest victim, you shot yourself in the ass with that one. By dropping your mask, you gave her the
opportunity to stop trying to have a relationship with a lunatic, and she took
it. You’re lucky: had she come to visitation, she was ready to
“out” you because she had had enough.
Thank you for constantly
attempting to track our movements by annoying the shit out of the kids’
healthcare providers and schools. They
know your game, have seen my evidence and court documents, and trust me…they
only give you what they damn well feel like giving you AFTER they have talked
to me.
Thank you for not knowing a thing
about your children because you never cared to.
I used to think that was so tragic.
Now I realize that it is a great protection for them, because I bet
there aren’t 10 questions a judge or custody evaluator would ask you about them
that you could actually answer correctly.
Thank you for lying on your
interrogatories by stating that your attorney did not withdraw from your case
in Georgia. When I whip out the actual
documents from your attorney that include his Line of Withdrawal, it shows what
a liar and complete con artist you are.
Thank you for telling the truth
on your interrogatories when you explained how you had me found in
Maryland. Not only could I then subpoena
all the records from the investigator you hired after you had already had
visitation, I got another glimpse of just how bat-shit crazy you are and what
precautions I have to take. I still
don’t think you have any appreciation for how utterly insane it is to hire a
Private Investigator to find your ex-wife’s physical address when you have
phone access and visitation access to your children, but everyone else sure does.
Thank you for putting your delusional
threats and aggrandizement to your work targets on email. That was just freaking brilliant. The one you sent to Shallamar was
particularly great, especially given that you sent it months before our divorce
was even final…to a newly single mother 20+ years younger than you who was your
indirect report. You couldn’t believe
she wouldn’t want to “date” you with “all (you) have to offer”? Pffffft.
When she rejected you, is that when you decided to tell me you had “made
a mistake” and were “working on a plan to get back to Georgia”? Too bad I didn’t fall for it, huh?
Thank you for pissing off enough
people in New York that they all banded together in contacting me and continue,
even 2 years later, feeding me information that helps me protect myself and my
daughters. Trust me, dude…I am the least
of your worries. You have an entire
population of people in Schenectady, Albany, and Rochester, who are eager to
see your entire world implode.
Thank you for 27 years of ungodly
horrible sex. Sure makes me appreciate
what I have now, especially my happy surprise in realizing I am not only not
“frigid”, I am quite passionate.
Thank you for taking that job in
New York, running your same, tired, bullshit lines on me to try to isolate me
again, and then calling my bluff. I know
you thought I’d fold like I had before, but you gave me the one opportunity I
needed to finally get away from you.
Thank you for having Robin in
Florida and Lisa in New York at the same time and spending your money to travel
back and forth rather than pay for your visitation with your children. This one piece of information, received over
a year after the fact, showed me and everyone else clearly just what your
priority is, and it isn’t your children.
By the way, this doesn’t make you a “stud”…it makes you a pig. On that note…
Thank you for constantly
skipping, changing, and shorting your visitation times. Another clear indication of where your
priorities lie, despite your victim act about not seeing your children. Are you really so delusional that you think I
didn’t keep every single communication about visitation, including all the
expenses I paid for while you said you were “broke”? Rest assured, I won’t EVER let anyone forget
how you were “too broke” to pay for your visitation but you went out and bought
yourself some jet skis.
Thank you for lying repeatedly
under oath and in various court documents. Since I have actual proof and documentation to
demonstrate that you have lied to the court over and over, this means you have
zero credibility.
Thank you for constantly making
accusations about things I was or was not doing, because I know how your massively
screwed-up brain works. Each time you
flapped your gums, all you did was tell me what you were doing by projecting it
onto me.
Thank you for leaving that SIM
card behind from the Palm Pilot you used at MVP Healthcare years before I
divorced you. It was lovely and
reassuring to see your ad for a young woman “For a night or maybe longer, great
opportunity for an upscale place, you must be 18 to 22, blonde, blue-eyed,
small breasts…” I mean, damn, if I
hadn’t been convinced that I wasn’t the problem before this, you nailed
it. I never stood a chance with your
brand of crazy.
Thank you for committing a felony
in April 2014 (OCGA 19-5-45, look it up) when you sent our daughter alone to
another state instead of where you were legally bound to return her, where I
was waiting. That statute of limitations
won’t run out anytime soon and she is fully prepared to tell a custody
evaluator the entire story, because she is still incensed by your behavior.
Thank you for stealing your
current girlfriend’s house and then lying to the court about it. No one but you is sucking up your story about
the two of you “buying a house together”.
You got her to put you on the deed to the house she owned outright, then
took out a joint mortgage of $105,000 and a line of credit for $56,000…while
your kids were homeless because of your actions. Know what that makes you? A grifter, and a massive failure as a father.
Thank you for your smartass text
to our daughter after we moved to Maryland.
“Well you kept that secret pretty good, didn’t you? Your mother has taught you well.” Do you think she is so stupid that she
doesn’t know you moved away from them and never came back despite all your
bullshit promises? Funny thing is, she doesn’t
even know that you were the chronic liar, cheater, and secret-keeper in our
marriage.
Thank you for the things you have
done to our children. That might sound
crazy, but once I gave them both their own voices to say whatever they wanted
instead of continuing to “cover” for you, they outed your ass and now they
won’t stop talking. I can guarantee,
your relationship with them is effectively over, because of you and you alone.
Thank you for not even coming
close to adhering to the visitation schedule you agreed to. Once I gave the girls the visitation schedule
in print so they would know how to plan, they figured out pretty damn quickly
how many times you had ditched them.
They are way smarter than you give them credit for.
Thank you for putting on the
little show for my family law attorney in New York. Your boo-hoo routine in the hallway, followed
up by your refusal to settle the child support over ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS a
month, gave her entire firm all the fire they needed to come after your
ass. Oh…and rest assured that you aren’t
getting away from that ruling. At.All. Buckle up.
Thank you for driving 16 hours
with a piece of furniture I didn’t want, and a concealed firearm, then trying
to get me to come over to your car.
Following that up with a text message pretending to be our daughter was
just priceless. You didn’t even think about
the fact that a 9 year old wouldn’t know to put a decimal in front of the gun
caliber, which is what let me know it was you.
The very best part was then you lying about it in interrogatories later,
stating that the trip was “last minute”, when you had made arrangements through
my attorney weeks prior. In
writing. All of which I have.
Thank you for thinking you’re
smarter than me. It gives me the upper
hand. Every.Single.Time.
Thank you for assuming I don’t
know how to do things like trace an IP address and preserve source codes, and
that I haven’t saved everything. Rename
and “lock down” that YouTube channel all you want, but I can still get to it
for the court. The funniest was when you
renamed it from “whosstinky” to “GFYBitch”.
Who’s the bitter one? Still
wondering why you like that Emily Osment song.
Or maybe it’s just because you have such a thing for teenagers.
Thank you for filing false
contempt charges against me when I refused contact with you. Not only did you clearly show me just how
disordered you are, you entered some great testimony into the record which is
at the ready any time I need it.
Thank you for filing a total of
three frivolous court actions against me in just 2 years. Bankrupting me and your children, costing me
my health and my job, forcing us to rely on others for housing, and leaving us
with essentially nothing, taught me one very, very important lesson: no matter what you do, YOU CANNOT BREAK
ME.
Thank you for having your
girlfriend’s daughter spy on our younger one and report back to you. Sending our daughter a text message about
something she didn’t want to discuss with you scared the crap out of her, but also
gave her a healthier respect for social media.
Funny, I would’ve thought you learned something when you did that to our
older one and scared the living crap out of her when she didn’t want you to
know about homecoming. Then again, maybe
that was the point. You sure do get a
lot of sick enjoyment out of scaring and degrading females.
Thank you for having other people
spy on me and the kids. It gave me an
opportunity to teach the children important safety lessons. Unfortunately for you, there are only a
couple of people even still speaking to you and they are just as crazy as you
are. Besides, my “spy network” is way
bigger than yours.
Thank you for being so arrogant
about everything, your temper tantrums, calling me a whore and making accusations
to others about me after I made it clear we were finished. Those were so incredibly easy to disprove
when people asked me about them that your credibility immediately imploded.
Thank you for lying over and over
and over. No, really. You make it so easy to demonstrate how
disordered you are. I don’t even have to
say anything. I just produce an email
from you or a document or a text message and it does the talking for me.
Thank you for being so paranoid
that you insisted that all documentation in my possession never be disseminated
after July, 2014. It reaffirmed my much
earlier decision in which I sent piles of documents out to over 60 people all
around the country, Canada, the UK and Australia, including the expert
testimony reports. That way, if you do
succeed in physically attacking me or hiring someone else to do it, you will be
faced with an ARMY of people ready to point the finger at you and ensure you
end up where you belong.
Thank you for putting yourself on
the Warlock’s radar, because that shit’s just funny. I’d bet real money that you peed the bed
AGAIN after your little meeting. You
still pee the bed, right?
Thank you for living in your
little fantasy world of obsession, five years later, still trying to ruin my
life. It reaffirms for me that all the
things that you did to me and to our daughters were not my imagination and not
my fault. You have shown the entire
world exactly who and what you are and I guarantee that you will NEVER be able
to keep your cover again.
Thank you for your many years of negative
messages, telling me I wasn’t worth a damn and that I would never achieve
anything I wanted to achieve. You gave
me the fire that still keeps me going and will lead to me accomplish more than
I ever thought possible, much more sooner than later. The funny thing is, when you think you are
doing things to break me, all you do is strengthen my resolve to prove you
wrong. So, to this “thank you”, I’ll add
a “fuck you”, too.
Thank you for showing me with
crystal clarity that you have absolutely no conscience, no remorse, no moral
compass, and no empathy. Essentially,
you have no soul. That made it a lot
easier to finally let go of the illusion that someday you might see the
horrific damage you have caused and try to make it right. Also made it far easier for me to allow the
girls to honor their own individual needs to be done with you.
Most of all, THANK YOU for
assuming that everything you have done to me over the last few years would break
me down and shut me up. All you did was
give me the resolve to keep talking so I can help others who have suffered
through this same kind of hell on earth to understand that they can survive and
thrive, regardless. You started this war
after years of watching me go on with my life happily and successfully. You can bet your ass I’m gonna finish it.
Oh…one last little tidbit: I recently consulted with Dr. Carl Gacono in
reference to protecting the children.
I’d like to thank you for giving me so much documentation and a clear,
5-year pattern to present to him. Made
his job of assessing the progression from sociopathy to psychopathy much, much
easier.
Happy Anniversary to me!
AC
P.S. Hi, Steve!
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